Whether you are the mother of the bride or a mother figure to the bride, there are certain unspoken rules that you must know. Being an important part of a young woman’s whole life or even for a small portion comes with its duties such as protecting and caring for her no matter what.
Light up sneakers turn into 5-inch stilettos
Picking her up from daycare and play dates turn into the ritual phone call after a long day of work.
The little girl who needed you for everything is now helping you with your makeup and teaching you the ins-and-outs of social media.
Her wedding day is the sign of when she is becoming a woman and maybe one day… a soon to be ‘mommy’ for a lucky baby boy or girl. Before you start crying about the thought of letting your baby girl grow up to become a wife there are some rules and tips that most first mother of the brides doesn’t think of.
Be her shopping buddy!
Every girl dreams of the moment where she and her mom will cry over the perfect wedding dress.
It is completely up to you if you want to contribute to buying the dress or letting your daughter buy it but it is important to be there when she says yes to the dress!
Live too far where you can’t be there in person? No problem plan a way to facetime or skype in to experience the day with your daughter or even schedule a day where you two can meet and go shopping!
But remember that your daughter has her own style. At the end of the day, she has to wear the dress and have to look back at her pictures of the most important day of her life. She wants your support in choosing her dream dress.
Be the voice of reason!
Yes, your daughter and her bridesmaids are all adults but sometimes we need mama’s help in being the voice of reason making this one of the more important mother of the bride duties! Arguments are sure to happen and that is completely okay if worst comes to worst ask your daughter if she wants you to help ease any tensions.
Help with the guest list
Another mother of the bride duty is helping with making a guest list which can be extremely hard on couples. Whether the bride and her fiance have an enormous family or even a lot of friends and coworkers you can not invite them all. That is where you come in, if your daughter asks for your opinion on the list, give it to her. Remember… mothers may not know best but your children will always appreciate it when you help them out!
Registry List Help
Let’s be honest we don’t really know what we should put on a wedding registry. Kitchen supplies, dinnerware, and little things for our home but what really are the important items? Mom’s will know better than anyone else so before you scan that cool blender make sure it is something you actually need. Give your daughter a list of items as a guide to help her and her fiance though the dreaded registry shopping trips.
Have a family welcoming party!
During the wedding planning process, you are going to be meeting a lot of new people that will be apart of your daughter’s life. It is important to get to know them and welcome them with open arms. Planning a brunch or a family dinner is a great way to meet everyone before the wedding.
Dressing the Bride
One of the most important items on the mother of the bride to do list is helping your daughter into her dress and placing the veil on her is a sweet and sentimental moment that every girl dreams about. It is a great photo opportunity to keep and cherish. One day if your daughter has a girl of her own she can do the same and show her the pictures of you doing it to her!
Love your daughter
The process of wedding planning is extremely stressful. No one truly loves planning wedding but if the bride has a support system it surely can be a much better journey down the aisle for her.
THINGS TO REMEMBER
We get it you imagine this beautiful wedding for your daughter but now you have a plus one added to the wedding planning equation. Listen to the groom. Your daughter loves him and he loves her and they want what is best for them. Sit back and just enjoy the ride of your child falling in love with their special someone.
Respect your daughter’s wishes. You will not agree with everything she may want such as the wedding dress, but you raised her to be a strong and independent woman with opinions. Let her have them.
Enjoy the ride. Weddings nowadays are not the same as the time you said: “I do”. There are more parties, lots of hashtags, plenty of magazines, and huge budgets. From the time that she says “yes” to the time she says “I do” it will be an exciting roller coaster. Before you know it you will be sitting down reliving these precious memories by looking at a photo album. Take every day as a new one and enjoy it.
It is okay to ask your daughter for help, but don’t ask right away. Let the excitement of being engaged settle in and then let her know if she needs help with anything that you are there for her. If your daughter does come to you for help finish the task as soon as possible! There is nothing worse than asking for something and then not getting it done 2 months after.